Differences Between Good Friends And Toxic Friends
Friends are one of the biggest assets one can have. I have even heard telling that friends are God’s way of apologising for an incomplete family. Unfortunately, a true friend is hard to come by. Friends, those who we share ourselves with, play an important role in how successful we are in the accomplishment of our dreams. Bearing this in mind, it is extremely important to differentiate between good friends and toxic ones.
• A friend in need is a friend indeed
We hear this said to us a lot as we grew up. It was usually said when we bring home or are seen around a friend who our parents do not approve of. That is before they throw in the “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. Or its variant, “birds of a feather flock together”. All these are true and it takes time for us to actually see the truth of it.
When we do, it is a key moment in a relationship. Once you recognise that a person would not be there for you when needed the most, recognise the person as such. Life is a long journey and we need all-weather friends, not fair weather friends.
• Where do you stand?
Just as moths are attracted to flames, you may be attracted to certain type of people. It might be their charm, intelligence, beauty etc. In a good friendship, there must be balance. This balance is in how much you invest in it. Equal or near equal measure. Of course, there are friends for different purposes. The best friend, the TGIF friend, the friend that only sends happy new month/year messages etc. But in all cases, you should put in as much as they do. Know your place and let the friend know his/hers.
A good friend ensures that the friendship is all about shared joy and interest and it’s important to always keep these friends in your life.
• Are they trustworthy?
Trust is the most vital element of true friendship. Even if they tend to be rude with you on certain times, Good friends never talk bad of you in your absence, unlike the toxic friends who would leave no chance to malign your reputation in the eyes of others. Toxic friends lack the trait of loyalty and they have a sense of competition. The toxic friends may backstab you for their own benefit anytime, while a good friend will advocate your interests even at your back.
Moreover, good friends will never reveal your secrets to others and value your personal life whereas the toxic ones shall always try to make gossips about your personal life. So if a friend talks about you in your absence, its high time to bid them goodbye.
It is important to know who are your friends and trust them accordingly. Toxic friends bring negative energy and you need to recognise this.
• The way you deal with your problems
Criticism given with a goal to communicate is its own form of love. Good friends do not hide your faults from you neither do they take advantage of it. They see it, bring it to your attention and ask that you fix up. They recognise that you are as much an extension of them as they are of you. Toxic friendships do not let you flourish. They do not look out for you and most often than not, they just want to keep taking from you. .
Good friends can resolve conflicts vocally without hampering the friendship, accepting faults and working on it. They share your dreams and even when it might not be convenient for them, they step up for you.
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