Blending with people is not as easy as it sounds for some of us. The ability to enter a new space, meet new people and get well in sync with them is not one that most people have.
We are held back by many reasons ranging from language barriers to being introverts, close-minded or uncomfortable around people we have no history with.
There are ways to get around a few of the things which hold us back from easily connecting with people and becoming more sociable.
Herein are a few steps you can take as you look to overcome the inability to blend easily.
1. Avoid food that triggers anxiety :
If you are the type who becomes anxious when taken away from your comfort zone, then you should avoid consuming foods and beverages which cause anxiety.
Have a balanced diet that cuts out alcohol, coffee and other caffeinated edibles. There is a myriad of edibles you can take instead of anxiety-triggering foods.
2. Make use of nature :
Nature has a cure to most of our problems. This is not just in the form of herbs for drugs and cosmetics. There are places that create an atmosphere of peace. They are usually serene areas where your anxiety is tamped down. You can have initial meets in such places.
You can have picnics, games, and even a mini-party so you get to meet new people in an environment you feel free and comfortable in. Surroundings can heavily influence your behaviour, so make use of it.
3. Don’t draw people’s attention :
I know this sounds like the opposite of what I am trying to help you with, but you really should not draw attention to yourself. This is not meant to discourage you from trying to stand out, but it is to curb anxiety. Until you are ready to face or handle such attention, do not draw it to yourself.
When trying or imbibing a new thing, it is always advisable to do it in small doses. Exercising for the first time, eating or drinking after a fast and guiding yourself to be more confident are examples of things that should be done at a gradual and slow rate. This also works for blending in when you are outside your comfort zone.
Demand for the attention that you can handle and as time goes by, you would find that you are able to handle attention with ease.
4. Do not try to please everyone :
Sometimes, we hang out with the wrong sort or crowd just to try to blend in. The wrongness is not in relation to any crime, but to the fact that they may not be your type of people/person.
In the bid to blend in, do not lose yourself by trying to please anyone you see. As much as you are trying to mix in, stay true to yourself.
If you find that a particular person is making you uncomfortable or rubbing you the wrong way, get out. Find someone that you feel has more in common with you and that you feel better with.
You should bear in mind that you are also worth the effort of someone else trying to be in sync with you. You were not born to please anyone.
There are always those who would be happy to be with you just as you are.
5. Talk politely :
People will often judge you by how you talk and what you say. This is especially so for first impressions. Bearing this in mind, it is advisable to take a conversational tone with people even when they seem to be trying to rile you up.
The fact that you and a person disagree on a point, idea or position is no reason to take on an insulting or condescending tone. Remember, the essence of an argument is not to win but to, as best as you can, share a point of view.
Do not let yourself be riled up and let your anxiety push you to speak in a way you normally would not.
6. Do breathing exercises :
When you are angry, you are told to it is best to count to ten. As counting helps focus and calm your nerves, breathing exercises will help you when you are anxious.
Breathing in deeply helps clear your head, slows down your heart rate, and gives you time to think; it tamps down the anxiety that builds up inside of you.
Help motivate and reason with yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Keep in mind that the people around you might also be nervous.
You can do this, so give yourself a pep talk (these work best in front of a mirror) and go meet new people.